Cabbits!

Hi, my name is: Chance

Never in my life have I been: so tired but good.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: pick a parent.

High school: was miserable and lonely

When I’m nervous: I talk too much and regret it later

The last song I listened to was: “(I Just) Died In Your Arms” by To Die For

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: good question. know who would be groomsmen. Donnie, The Hartmans, Kenny, Kevin, Devin, Peechiz, Peter. Think Donnie and Kevin are best running for the sheer fact of the bachelor party they’d throw.

My hair is: black

When I was 5: my sister taught me math and sci-fi.

Last Christmas: rocked.

I should be: coding

When I look down I see: business casual. =(

The happiest recent event was: getting my new drums in the mail!

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: Ross or Chandler…probably Ross

By this time next year: still have a job?

My current gripe is: loneliness

I have a hard time understanding: my emotions

You know I like you when: I do things no sane person would for another person.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: peechiz

Take my advice: life gets worse, you just have to find good ports of call to ride out the major shit storms.

The thing I want to buy: new macbook pro.

If you visited the place I was born: you would hate your life.

I plan to visit: california.

If you spent the night at my house: your life would never be the same.

I’d stop my wedding if: the one that got away told me she still felt the same.

The world could do without: a lot of things.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Serenity on Blu-Ray!

Most recent thing someone else made me: um, idk.

My middle name is: not going to be phished.

In the morning I: require red bull
Once, at a bar: what hasn’t happened?

Last night I was: gaming and running errands.

There’s this story I know about a guy: isn’t this a song?

If I was an animal I’d be: a cat, duh.

A better name for me would be: The Cat Whisperer

Tomorrow I am: recovering from tonight

My birthday is: thats usually anticlimatic. Except for this next one, that is if Melba pulls through. =)

Below is an entry from a friend’s facebook note.

---

If I could remove my brain and
strain over a grater and finely strip my thoughts
Onto this page

I assure you

I wouldn’t do it. For there are fold, valleys, neural intricacies,
logical inconsistencies, altered realities, extra-dimensional fantasies
reveries, fallacies, contrived train wrecks and allegories, free associations
finely flecked in fractured aleatoric fissures, nebulous and dense.

Fuck this, form. over substance. NO. First comes the IDEA. You should welcome it to your head, it seems be an irregular visitor. Make it some tea, ask it some questions, draw out it’s naughty secrets and gossip. Bask in it’s radiant warmth. Then, when it’s time for it to go, record it’s novel passing.

But this: this prison you call writing, this FORM. This ideal, this straight jacket. Here’s my Idea, and she’s a large woman. Your tightly woven corset ideals just wont fit, here she spills out on the page, over word limits, paragraph notations, and false ideology of the vacant shell as you whisper sweetly to her “One size fits all.”

This calcifying calamity, crass caricature must cease, ye teacher of English! Preposterous! I shudder at the notion of 30 years of young minds conforming to your ridiculous notions of the acceptable.

Note: I took this off of my friend Tyler’s Facebook page (and he took it from some paper).
<hr/>
I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic” and “different”. Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers; you’re an American story.

If your name is Barack, you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, and you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, then you’re well-grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, help register 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitional Law professor, 8 years as a State Senator of a district of 750,000 people, chair the state Senate’s Health and Human Services Committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people, sponsor 131 bills, and serve on the Foreign Affairs, Environmental and Public Works, and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as a mayor of a town of 7,000 people, 2 years as governor of a state of 650,000 people, you’re qualified to be a heartbeat away form the presidency.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, left your ill wife, and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the use of birth control, you erode the fiber of American society. If you staunchly advocate abstinence-only education, while your teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, you don’t represent America’s family values. If your husband is called “first dude”, has a DUI conviction, didn’t register to vote until 25, and was a member of a group that advocated secession of Alaska from the USA, yours is the quintessential American family.

And, finally, if you’re famous for your quick temper, you’re the one to have your finger on the red nuclear button.

OK, much clearer now.

Areej Zufari
Professor of Humanities
Valencia Community College

This was in the comments section of a BoingBoing article

“Men love to fuck. Women fuck to love.”

quote:

“Before there were Columbians, there were the French.”

- On illegal import/export

Eunoterpsia (YOO-noh-TURP-see-uh) – The doctrine that pursuing sexual pleasure is the goal of life.

Colpocoquette (KAHL-puh-koh-KET) – A woman who knows she has an attractive bosom, and who makes good use of its allure.

Thinking of listing Eunoterpsia as my religion but I think it’s more of a subset to Hedonism…which is what I more or less list already.

Backed up here in case the site I linked to in my tumblr ever goes down.

Some useful phrases to use as an Evil Overlord as given by Steve Meredith. These humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).

1. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
3. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
9. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
17. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
18. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
19. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Was looking for some Christmas gifts and found these. I now want them for myself…sigh.

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

–Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

–Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

–William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

—Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”

–Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

–Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

–Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.”

–George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.”

–Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”

–Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”

–John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

–Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”

–Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”

–Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”

–Walter Kerr

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

–Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

–Mae West

“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”

–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party

“Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”

–Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”

—Moses Hadas

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”

—Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”

—Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”

—Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”

—James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”

—Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”

—Forrest Tucker

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any one I know.”

—Abraham Lincoln

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

—Mae West

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts — for support rather than illumination.”

—Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”

—Billy Wilder

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

–Oscar Wilde

“You, Mr. Wilkes, will die either of the pox or on the gallows.”

–The Earl of Sandwich

“That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your mistress or your principles.”

–John Wilkes’s response to The Earl of Sandwich

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”

—Winston Churchil