Cabbits!

If I have to explain why it’s funny, you probably haven’t been friends with me for that long…

1) On Stripper Etiquette:

“Bring money. This may seem obvious, but there is nothing worse than going to a strip club and not having any cash.  While it may sound tempting, that crack in the dancer’s ass is not for swiping your credit card. Also, it’s more than likely than not that the dancers have a child or drug habit to support, so they need as much cash as they can suck out of you.”

2) On Chivalry:

“Whether you like it or not, gone are the days of roses, hastily scrawled love poems, and sweet serenades crooned lovingly outside a fair maiden’s window. Today, women may pretend like they want to be courted by a chivalrous gentleman, but in reality the chivalrous man has about as much chance of netting the girl of his dreams as Helen Keller has of winning a darts competition.”

” Women want a good-looking, arrogant asshole to treat them like crap…. It’s an unfortunate trend, to be sure, but an unavoidable one: the chivalrous romantic can write all the love songs and give all the gifts he wants, but outside circumstances aside (in this case, “outside circumstances” means “money”), the chivalrous man will end up with nothing more than his dick in his hands by the end of the day, while the cocky asshole who lifts weights and/or plays guitar chokes the girl of your dreams to death with his penis.”

thought i’d start a blog or at least make this less default-y. going to see how this goes. don’t expect much, right now i’m hella busy.