Drunken Elephants are bad, mmmkay?

“The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them,” Hilton said.

My first thought when I read this was that Paris wanted  to make sure the elephants were properly carded.

For real though, you got to admire Paris. Fuck trying to end world hunger, poverty, senseless war, human rights violations. Those causes are sooooo yesterday. Drunken Elephants is where the real publicity, er charity is at.